I think I've sort of hit that point in the term where the work (and everything else) just seems to be never-ending, literally. Let me give you an example: On MWF, I have both my Philosophy class and my French class, and on TTh, I have both work and my History class, (and keep in mind that a midst all of this there are also choir rehearsals on all of these days). So, the homework strategy that I came up with in order to handle this, naturally, was to do work for Phil. and French on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then the work for History on Mondays and Wednesdays. Of course, I left out Fridays, but who does homework on Fridays anyway? Ha. You would think that my genius little homework strategy would work, right? Wrong. As it turns out, assigning massive amounts of reading each day is all of my professors' favorite thing to do, and by massive I mean 50-100 pages a week. Thus, it would be wise to do little bits of it each night that you have to do it. Well, do I have time for that? Why no I do not. I am taking three classes that all focus on both reading and writing, and I sing in choir, and I have a job. I do not have time to just sit around and do homework all day. Gah. Yeah okay, I know this is college, but still...gah. But you know, sometimes I kind of wish I had time to sit around and do homework all day; I mean I would probably get bored after a while of not having any extra curricular activities, but honestly some days when I see my roommate (who I love to death, by the way, and I mean this in the most loving way possible) just settling down to take a nap when I'm running from choir rehearsal to work and then to class again, all the while trying to squeeze in food somewhere in there, I kind of just want to break a door.
In my mind, when I see her napping she's like this:
And then I'm like this:
But such is the life of a busy 19-year-old.
Today, however, was weird in the sense that again, my brain is doing weird things. I had to stay up extremely late last night (trust me, you don't want to know - let's just say the roosters woke up not long after I fell asleep), reading Descartes for Philosophy, so when it was actually time to get up later in the morning for the actual Philosophy class, I physically could not do it. My reaction: refer to previous picture. Long story short, I ended up emailing my prof. saying I had a headache and couldn't make it into class, because let's face it, with the little amount of sleep I got it wouldn't be long until one of my headaches settled in anyway. So right away my day was off to an "off" start. I ended up getting out of bed at around 10am (so that gave me around 6 hours of sleep) and made it out the door just in time for my French class. Now, that class is almost always amazing. I love my prof, and the other students in the class, but I don't know, I still didn't feel right being in there. It was kind of like I was there, but I wasn't really there. And no, that was not because of my overly tired-ness, or of my headache that did, as I had predicted, end up settling in. I just couldn't stop thinking about all of the things that I needed to do, and needed to finish either by tomorrow, or the next day, or the next month [and then I had to resist the urge not to have a panic attack]. Every so often I would stop and say something to my prof. just to show that I was still among the living, but that was not often. Basically the extent of my longest conversation with her was this:
Holly: "Et toi, Erin, ça va?
Erin: "Comme ci comme ça...je suis stressé..."
Holly: "Oh, pourquoi est-ce que tu es stressé?"
Erin: "PARCE QUE J'AI BEAUCOUP DE DEVOIRS ET PAS BEAUCOUP DE TEMPS POUR LE FAIRE."
Yes, it was incredibly enlightening; I didn't really yell at her though, in this case the caps lock merely stands for exasperation (which doesn't normally happen to me in French class...again, off). Oh, and then at some point during class, my deskmate and I held a conversation about who was more stressed, us or a politician. Don't ask me how that came up, but needless to say we came to the conclusion that we were more stressed. Then later in the day, right before the start of choir rehearsal, I was standing outside the door to the practice room and my Alto I section leader came up to me and started talking, but then stopped mid-sentence and said "Oh my gosh you are so falling asleep right now! Do you want to go home??" Apparently my eyelids were involuntarily drooping...but alas, I proceeded to say, "Noo, I have some stuff to do after this, so I couldn't really go to bed anyways..." But ugh how I wanted to. Not that I didn't want to rehearse, because I actually like a couple of the songs we're working on, but my bed sounded so inviting. Ah well. I had already missed my first class, no need to be too rebellious in one day.
Once school was finally over, I seriously thought I was about to pass out, which I'm sure some of you are thinking was weird because my day actually doesn't sound too strenuous in writing. I think it was more a combination of the classes, the fact that I stayed up too late last night, and then the fact that I had (and still kind of have) a shit-ton of History reading to do for tomorrow, and stuff to do for work tomorrow. Oh, and then there's that other thing that I can't talk about yet, but will eventually. I would elaborate more, but let's just say for now that it's something I'm doing that's school-related, and involves an extra application, complete with some extra stuff that's extra stressful. Merrrrhhhhhgg. (I actually just made that sound out loud right now).
And to end the day on a high note, I ran into a tree on my way home from the gym this evening; yes, I go to the gym because I am currently under the impression that running can help with my stress (...HA!). It was sure swell. Goodnight people.
~Erin
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