Letting go.

It's one of the hardest things in the world to do, especially when you don't want to do it. It's one of those things that continuously pokes at both your head and your heart, never allowing you to decide which hurts the most. In your head, you know that the sensible thing to do is just to let go - to allow yourself to understand that whatever it is that you're holding onto, just isn't worth it anymore, that the pain just isn't worth it anymore. Your head is logical, and is the one part of your body that can always tell you what is the right thing to do. But your heart, your heart is the one part of your body that always seems to want to disagree. It tells you what you need, and that thing that you need may not always logical. In fact, it can be the most illogical thing in the world, but the fact is that you need it. In your heart, you still know that the sensible thing to do would be to just let go, but you also know that if you were to let go, you would never fully heal.

Lately, the issue of letting go has been plaguing me greatly, taking it's toll on my own head, and my own heart. And it's painful; it's so, so painful. It is, as I have mentioned in a previous post, my issue of caring too much, of putting too much of my heart and soul into a relationship that is clearly not reciprocated. I tell myself that the sensible thing to do is to just let go, to free myself of the constant empty feeling in my chest. But here's the thing, I really do not know if I'm strong enough. If I'm strong enough to just forget and move on. So here's a question for you people, how do you do it? Do you listen to your logical head, or your needy heart? Which one is better? Because if I listen to my logical head, I feel as though my heart will not agree. But if I listen to my needy heart, and allow myself to keep being swallowed up by memories, I feel as though I will certainly go crazy. And crazy is just, well...crazy.

And I don't have time to be crazy. I just want to be ok.


~Erin

Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts


I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok


Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts


I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today