Turning around.

"If you want something, if you really want something, you don't ask for it, you demand it. You shout it out to the fucking universe because you deserve it." - Susan Sarandon, "The Big C"


I got some really good news yesterday. Or well, news that has a lot of potential to be really good. It has a lot to do with school, and some stuff I'm trying to figure out for next year. If you haven't noticed, I have been really, really, really stressed lately about what I'm doing with my life right now, as well as what I'm going to do for the rest of my college career. Yeah yeah I know, I'm only a sophomore and I have time...or so I've been told (by my dad mostly). And yes I know he's right, I still have room in my life to change things up a little bit. It just doesn't feel that way most of the time; most of the time I feel as though I am sort of watching my life play out in front of me, like I'm just getting up every morning and going through the motions - doing what I have to do in order to get through the day. So my solution to that is basically to desperately seek out the answers to problems that for the most part, haven't even shown up yet. But I'm not going to lie to you, I have been faced with problems, and I think maybe, just maybe, yesterday I was presented with an answer.

I want something, I really want something, and now thanks to Susan Sarandon (or rather Joy, her character on the Showtime series "The Big C" ...I highly recommend watching it by the way...), I am demanding it. I am shouting it out to the fucking universe, because I want to take back some of the control I feel like I've lost in my life. Yeah I know, there's only so much control a 19-year-old girl can have (I think I've touched on this subject in a previous post), but I fully intend on taking it by the horns and calling it my own. There has only ever been one time in my life where I was able to look at everything around me and say "I am truly happy," and that was during the fall of my junior year of high school, when I first met and then became really close to my now-best friends. I am determined to be able to make that statement again, and be fully honest about it, and for the first time in awhile, that determination is making another appearance in my life. I think complete happiness can be within my reach, because things could finally be turning around.

~Erin

P.S. I am still in love with this album.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_89uPUT8Mg
Leave Love Alone - Carrie Underwood