This Tuesday I am grateful for the Seattle University Choirs, and pretty much just singing in general. I really don't think my college experience would have felt right without the countless hours spent standing on risers, constantly memorizing and nitpicking at every small detail of a song. Actually, I have no idea what a college experience without choir would be like, as I have been involved with both Seattle University (co-ed) Chorale and Women's Chorale since fall quarter of my freshman year, which was like, a year and a half ago. And we're back to the whole "time flies" concept. Compared to probably a lot of other students who spend half their life devoted to music education, I developed a passion for it very late in life, late as in my sophomore year of high school. And I will just be honest right now and say that the only reason I joined choir then was because I needed a Fine Arts credit in order to get into UCLA (and I didn't even end up going there...lol at the irony), and I couldn't draw worth a damn, so singing it was. I didn't even really expect to develop any sort of passion, at the time I was just thinking get in, get out, get your Fine Arts credit, be done with it. But music didn't get rid of me that easily, over time I became hopelessly hooked. Although come to think of it, that year was so bad that I think I was just desperately trying to reach out to something, anything, to make me feel whole again; lucky for me, that something ended up being the thing that I can no longer imagine my life without.
My first experience with choir came, again, my sophomore year of high school, with the Sheldon High School Concert Choir. It was a non-audition group that welcomed anyone and everyone willing and wanting to try something new, which at the time was me. Up until joining said choir I had devoted almost the entirety of my life to sports; first basketball, then soccer, then softball, then finally volleyball, because that's just what you did. You played sports because it was the "normal" thing to do, and time and time again I told myself that it was the right thing for me to be doing. Not to knock sports or anything - I've just never really been a fan of exercising or like, waking up at 5am to go play in days-long tournaments 100 miles away. So needless to say, becoming a part of a group who wanted nothing more out of life than to be an artist, and to express themselves through their voices, well it was a little new to me. I expected to just show up and pass with flying colors, I mean after all, how hard could singing really be, right? Wrong. I had a lot of work to do. After spending the entire second half of my sophomore year with the Concert Choir, saying I became "hopelessly hooked" actually became an understatement. The 80 minutes a day I would spend with that group became my medicine; it could pull me out of the greatest despair imaginable for me at the time. I still remember almost all of the laughs we had, and all of the friends I made. We were so much like a little family it was crazy. And now I'm all nostalgic and aflsdflkngfkl. Next paragraph.
Eventually during the middle of that semester spent in Concert Choir, I began taking voice lessons with one of the greatest most amazing women I know, Linda. I did so because my little somewhat immature 15-year-old self wanted to be like all of those other girls, all of those girls who had been training their entire lives just to shine on that stage. Little did I know (yeah yeah cliche verse I know) that "voice lessons" would actually come to mean so much more than that to me. I cannot even find adequate words to describe how much both the lessons, as well as Linda, have helped me both vocally and in shaping me to be the person I am today. She taught me not only vocal technique, but vocal expression, as well as love, strength, and wisdom. She never judged, never made me feel bad about myself or like I wasn't good enough. I mean there was constructive criticism sure, we all need that, but never was there anything that made me feel inadequate.
I ended up taking lessons full time with Linda for about a year and a half, and since then we have never really lost touch. And for those of you who are super curious, I actually worked for her last winter break, so there's that too. Anyway, over time I actually came to realize that there was no one else I could really trust as much as I did Linda. I eventually was able to fully open myself up to her and tell her about my past, my troubles, and anything that could be bothering me that particular day. One afternoon I remember particularly well; it was about two and a half-ish years ago, right at the end of my junior year of high school, and it was the afternoon of the last formal lesson I was to take with Linda (so the end of my full time lessons). I hadn't told her until that afternoon that that was for sure going to be the last lesson I took with her for awhile, and naturally I was nervous. I didn't really want to stop, but in the end my mom and I had come to the conclusion that I was at the place I wanted to be with my music; I had reached the level of choir I wished to reach in high school, I was embarking on my senior year (meaning I would be up to my ears in homework and busy-ness), and it was just time I guess. So I went into Linda's office at the time of my appointment and took a minute, then told her. And she was okay with it, very understanding and whatnot. But then she asked me what I wanted to do with the hour we still had to kill - did I want to work on some music or just hang out and talk? Against my better judgement at the time, I decided to talk.
Now, at this moment in time, I had my best friends. I had people to talk to who were there for me and who would laugh with me and love me regardless. However, these were my very bubbly, hyperactive, lovable best friends, not my let's-talk-about-stuff-that-makes-me-want-to-rip-my-heart-out best friends...we didn't really talk about serious stuff all that much. So when talking to Linda, we just kind of got to talking at first about things like life and how much I had grown as a person and whatnot, and then suddenly, I decided to spill out to her my entire life's story. About my parents, past experiences with friends, etc etc. Thus led to my decision of allowing myself be emotionally vulnerable, and just cry. And cry and cry and cry. And she sat with me, rubbed my back and told me everything was going to be okay. That I was okay, that I would find a good place, and that I would move forward, learn, and grow into a better person. Up until that little emotional outburst (and still to this day), the number of people in my life who I had allowed to see and/or hear me cry I could count with one hand (and half of those fingers could probably be counted as accidental outbursts that I later regretted), so to willingly allow myself to do so in front of someone who I respected, but still a "stranger" nonetheless, was a big deal. I don't know, I guess crying in public was just never something I deemed socially appropriate. I think part of that can be due to my upbringing however; when I was a little girl and my parents were divorced (and that's another story for another post...I promise I won't put it off forever, someday something will trigger it), I would cry myself to sleep countless nights because of how much I missed my mom when I was away from her, because I believed that people would feel hurt were I to cry about her in front of them. So I would always hold it in because that was the polite thing to do. Anyway, getting off topic. Having Linda in my life, especially after that one afternoon, has helped me so much, not just musically but personally. And without music, I would never of found that.
Now back to choir! For both my junior and senior years, I decided to leave the smaller Concert Choir and audition for Varsity. So I did, and participated in it for two years. Again, one of the best decisions I could have made. My junior year, thanks to a very talented director and group of young people, the Sheldon High School Varsity Choir was asked to go to Washington D.C. and sing at the 2009 Inaugural Festival.
One of the most amazing experiences of my life, and we won first place. I even got to see this:
Obama getting officially sworn in as president (over the big screen of course) at the January 2009 Inauguration. Again, amazing. Looking back now, I can definitely say that being involved in Sheldon choir the last two and a half years of high school saved me. It introduced me to a passion within me I had no idea existed. Also to the fact that singing in a higher range (aka. Soprano I) is not my forte. Haha...get it, forte? Like forte as in music...? Never mind. I like puns. And thus, I am a perfectly happy Alto I. In Varsity in particular, we got to sing a plethora of genres of music, ranging from anything (and I mean anything) Eric Whitacre, to songs that required us to literally make jungle and/or animal noises. It was great. Of course I need to mention our director, Nancy, as well. Here's another musical talent and leader who, were it not for her and her enthusiasm, I would not be where I am today. Every time now in Seattle University Chorale when we get introduced to a "new" Eric Whitacre song, all I can think is, "I've heard this before, and I can do this." Nancy taught me not only that in order to be my very best, I need to practice my very best, but also how to be a completely selfless human being. Here was someone who constantly put aside herself to make sure that we were the very best, and were given the very best opportunities. Exhibit A being the trip to Washington D.C., and then of course the trips the Jazz choir took to Disneyland, and the group trips to Ireland, etc etc. Both her and Linda proved to me that through music you were not only given the greatest opportunities, but were able to meet some of the greatest people along the way.
So as you can probably conclude, once I got to college, I really could not imagine my life without choir. It got to that point where simply not singing was no longer an option for my life. I had to sing. I needed to sing. Such was the prelude to my meeting Doc. Dr. Joy Sherman, director of the Seattle University Choirs, is another musical great who I can honestly say has shaped and matured my voice more than any other person ever has. She emphasized not only expression, but technique, form, breath and balance. She is a genius. A complete genius. You know, my first ever meeting with her was actually somewhat humorous because what I believed to be just a "meeting," turned into a full on audition, without my knowledge and/or real preparation. Yeah, you can probably imagine how that went. It was a couple of days before my first day of school as a freshman (in September 2010), and she had called me (because at the freshman summer orientation I had left my number on a form saying I was interested in choir) and asked if I wanted to "meet" with her. I repeat meet, not audition. Naturally I said yes. So when I showed up at her office door the next day, she greeted me with a smile, asked me a few questions, and then right off the bat asked "so do you want to sing a few chords for me??" What I was thinking: "UMM NO. YOU CALLED ME IN HERE FOR A TALK NOT AN AUDITION I HAVE NOTHING PREPARED AND I HAVEN'T SANG SINCE LAST JUNE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?? AAAAAAHHHHHHHSFLNGDNFBGD." What I said out loud: "Umm yeah sure, definitely." What ended up happening: Me placing in both Women's Chorale and (co-ed) University Chorale. (Univ. Chorale is essentially a "step up;" if you're in that then you have to either do Women's or Men's Chorale too, depending on your gender). So everything ended up okay after all. Now, having spent almost two full years in both choirs, I can feel the change in my voice, and I appreciate the art that is music more than ever. We rehearse five days a week for at least an hour, and boy does it pay off. Thanks to Doc and her ruthless attempts to get me to "hook up and push the rib cage out," "lift my cheeks," and "utilize the hot-potato mouth," I now possess a strong vibrato and can hold notes up to around 12 seconds. It's always fun when she picks you out at random from the group and makes you sing parts of songs as well. Embarrassing at the beginning, educational at the end; that's the motto I've established for situations like those. We sing three and a half concerts each year, and I say half because in the middle of fall quarter (October) we always hold a "Parent's Weekend Concert," which promotes some of the pieces we will sing in the Christmas Concert in December. It sometimes feels like a lot more, but in the end I know all of the work is worth it, because we are stellar. And I say that without fear of bragging. I am proud to be in Seattle University Choirs; it is my passion, my stress-reliever (and causer sometimes...), and best form of entertainment.
And for your listening pleasure, here's a link to the online preview of some songs that are on our three most recent CDs (from the 2010-2011 concert year):
I highly recommend you go listen. Then go buy the CDs. Because music is good, and I like it.
~Erin
P.S. I feel like I should just start making these "Grati-Wednesdays" because I never seem to be able to finish on Tuesdays anymore. Hmph. Oh well, I will do better next week, I promise. But it doesn't really help that I do my best writing between midnight and 2am, and naturally that's Wednesday. Well I could just write these at midnight Tuesday morning (so like Monday night kind of if that makes sense), but that would just be too simple...
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