Those who mind don't matter.

Okay, this post is going to be a little bit rant-y, so just consider this your advanced notice. But hopefully it'll give you some insight too, dear reader.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

First of all, what I want to say is that I take no issue in people who are proud of who they are and what they stand for. People with solid arguments behind their opinions, and people who are genuinely good and kind to others. I don't judge people based on their personal beliefs - for example I myself am a firm believer in my Christian God, but that doesn't mean I will think any less of you if you're not, or if you're not a Christian - and really, I try not to judge people period, because being judged just kind of...sucks.

What I do take issue with, however, this quote just chillin' above me, (yeah, you see it right up there?) and that seems to have been chillin' in my life throughout the past few months. Right off the bat, what this quote says to me is that people shouldn't feel the need to change who they are just to please someone else. That's fine with me. But then I look into it a little harder, and I realize what this quote also implies is something along the lines of:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind, and if you happen to offend or hurt anyone [deeply] along the way, just fuck 'em."

Um...no thank you to that both literally and figuratively. In what world is it okay to hurt someone and then just pass it off as you just being yourself? Is "yourself" a giant fucking asshole or something?

Now, feel free to disagree with me on any of this, but I believe there comes a point where it's not okay to "say what you want" because there are people in your life who do matter, who might also just so happen to mind. For example, if you come up to me and tell me straight to my face that there is no God, or tell me that when I pray I'm actually talking to no one because Jesus doesn't exist, or that when people talk about how they feel God's presence they're actually just alone, not gonna lie I'm gonna get a little offended, because while I respect the fact that you're an Atheist or Agnostic or what have you, that does not give you the right to come up to me and deny MY beliefs to my face in a derogatory manner especially when I ask you to please stop. You're more than welcome to think those thoughts and practice them in your daily life and talk about them to your Atheist and/or Agnostic etc. friends, but when you say that to someone whose religion is very important to them and saved them from a very dark time in their life, you're going to offend them. And hurt them. I guarantee it. And you're not allowed to just stand there and say that that person doesn't matter "because they mind."

Everyone matters. Everyone in this whole world matters.

It's not okay to just bash people with mean and hurtful words and then just pass it off as you being yourself and then blaming the other person for taking it so personally. That's not what mature adults should do and really, I think that's part of the reason why this world is so chaotic as it is; people just say whatever the hell they want to each other and do whatever the hell they want to each other, and then just tell themselves that "those people" don't matter.

They won't care.

They won't get hurt.

This shouldn't affect them anyway.

They shouldn't care.

Well sometimes it does. And they do. Sometimes words really, really hurt, whether they're spoken aloud, written in text, or even written in pen. Words can destroy people, and we need to be careful what we say, even if we are just "speaking our minds."

And just gonna throw this thought out there, from my own personal experience: Sometimes it doesn't even matter why something that was said hurt someone. What matters is the fact that it did, and you're the one who did it. You need to fix it. You need to apologize, even if you don't know what you're apologizing for. Just do it. Be the bigger person.

I guess what I really just want to say is...be careful what you say to people because words can cut deeper than any physical wound. Having a filter is a good thing. Believing in your heart that everyone matters; even if they're not your friend, even if they're someone you hate, even if they're some annoying professor who just gave you your first C...they matter.

Phew, okay. I think the rant is now over. I should probably sleep now, buuut it's finals week and ain't nobody got time for that.

I'll see y'all on the flip side of this Chem. final Thursday evening.

~Erin

P.S. Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM! Who definitely turns 40 today........................