We love you, Boston.

Ever since I sat down at my desk at work late this morning and turned on the computer, I have been seeing (and reading) articles looking like this:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/dozens-people-injured-explosion-boston-marathon-190955311.html

And this:

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/two_explosions_at_boston_marathon_iMR0LCkcwASg0RQfVsH1yI

And this:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/04/15/us/site-of-the-boston-marathon-explosion.html?_r=0

The list goes on and on. I think I can speak for everyone here when I come out and say I just don't get it. What in God's name could possess people to commit such crimes? First the Sandy Hook shooting, and now this? I mean what the actual fuck is wrong with people? Pardon my French but really, it's heartbreaking.

What is it that people think they can accomplish by shooting guns and setting off bombs and hurting innocent people? Does it give them some sort of like weird power trip or something...I just, I can't even. If anyone has any theories, let me know. I've had this giant lump in the back of my throat literally all day, looking through pictures of these poor people and wishing there was something I could do to help, instead of just sitting here all the way across the country and watching them suffer.

I know people who live in Boston, several of whom are very dear friends who I care for very much. Like for example this girl:

 

We've gone on many an adventure in that city, and it's insane to think that the streets we've walked on, the places we've visited, are now torn apart with pain, injury, and violence. It literally makes me sick to think of anyone hurting my friends over there, or anyone else I love for that matter (although thank God they're okay). And to think of all the stupid accusations and conspiracies that are most likely going to be flying around in the near future, like blaming the president or the US government or whatever, and how exhausting that's going to be to listen to, especially because we all know it's not true. But I don't really want to get into that. 

I guess I'm just waiting for the day when I can read through the Times and not see something about people somewhere suffering. Violence won't ever end with more violence. Hate won't ever end with more hate. War won't ever end with more war. This marathon was an event to honor the 26 victims of the Sandy Hook shooting last December, and just to further prove it, here's the link:

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2013/04/boston-marathons-final-mile-was-dedicated-newtown-victims/64250/

Every mile ran in that race today was to honor a little first grader, or a principal, or a teacher, or a school counselor. And then some awful, awful human being(s) makes a homemade bomb to set off near the 26th mile point. Just...why? Just...ugh. Just...fuck you whoever did this.

So for now...

And don't forget to tell the people you love just how much you love them!

~Erin

I'm so distracted by everyth-SQUIRREL!

So I am writing to you all today to talk about one thing first and foremost: focus and my lack thereof.

I don't know if it's just because it's that time of the year or something, but lately it just seems like I cannot focus on school for the life of me. It's like I have too many other things on my mind, like this summer, next fall, Comps (or "Senior Thesis" in Occidental-speak), next winter break, my life, etc etc.

Basically it goes like this: I sit down with my chemistry book and notes, fully intending to study and kick ass on my exam next Monday morning (HA YEAH RIGHT), and then I start thinking about next month and summer and stuff and I get totally distracted. Summer should be fun though, right? Full of stuff like this:

 

 Or this:

Or even this:

Or, okay one more, this:

(Sunriver, Oregon one of my favorite places in the world)

But then life kind of slaps me in the face and is just like lol no you're a college student summer isn't a time to de-stress are you crazy? Summer is a time to stress and think about how poor you are and how you have no prospects in life and are going nowhere. Ugh. I hate that so much. I'm just like...so over being stressed, you know? I'm sure you all are too, and I wish you didn't have any stress either! So we could all have like one big stress-free party!

Working together to be stress-free. haha okay. 

 

You know what I'd love to do most of all this summer? Besides stay in LA? Go on a vacation with my mom. Just me and her, going everywhere but going nowhere at the same time, because those are the best adventures, and she's actually a really good travel buddy. Just ask her. I've always wanted to do a really long trip with her, like a long drive, or hike, or whatever. Hmph.

I'm sorry this isn't a very interesting post. Really, school and work have taken over my life so I don't really have anything exciting to tell. I have a chem. midterm on Monday morning, but you already knew that. I'm studying a lot, I really am, but that subject kind of hates me and I find that I do just as well on exams when I don't study as when I do, so you know it doesn't really matter either way. I also have a paper due next Wednesday that I should have started by now, and my professor thinks I'm already finished with, but I haven't, because of reasons. And then I got a sore throat and decided to feel sorry for myself.

Oh! I forgot to tell you! Next week is also I-Week for Zeta (and all other sororities and fraternities). I think I stands for initiation. Basically that means I'm going to be over-my-head busy and not sleeping all week, BUT at the end I will (hopefully) be an active member of Zeta! 

Really though, I'm super glad I joined this lovely group of people. It's been swell, and next weekend is Oxy's Relay For Life which we have a team for so that should make the experience even swell-er. I'm excited.

Anywho, there's an update on my life for you people. Oh and the job interview I mentioned last time, it went okay. I'll just leave it at that. And let you know that I have another one this coming Wednesday. This summer so up in the air and what am I doing with my life and where am I going and asdfhhhjghjklmpw.

~Erin

Asleep.

...is what I should be right now. But I'm not, because my mind is full of too many things. And The Smiths are singing to me and I'm perfectly okay with that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D9ae_hdkUM

(This book and movie changed my life too)

The first thing that's going through my mind is this rough draft of a screenplay I have due on Wednesday afternoon that I'm trying desperately to outline. It's supposed to be for a short film, so like 15ish pages on paper (and that's in script format). But you see, that's where my problem begins, because my mind physically doesn't work in short term; everything I come up with in my head is for either a novel or a long, detailed story...I guess that could be considered a novel but whatever. The point is, I'm having some issues figuring out how I want to do this thing. Now before you ask, I have the storyline and I really don't want to change that. It's basically along the same lines as the story I'm going to turn into a semi-autobiographical novel one day, but again, it can't be a novel. It has to be short. So I was thinking I could take a snippet of my future story and turn that into a script for a short film? Sigh, I don't know.

However, if you'd like to know the storyline I'll gladly tell you (most of it). Let's just say several months ago I created this character in my head and her name is Emily Carver. She's been up there for a while now, and every now and again I find myself thinking as her; if I were to make her come to life in my novel how would she think? How would she act? How would she react? Anyway, if you hadn't guessed, little miss Emily is a slightly more badass version of me. She's smart. She's strong. She's been hurt, but she's not afraid to love. She cares about people, but sometimes she doesn't always know how to show it, or how to tell them. And yet, the person Emily cares for the most is the person who's most far away.

In my novel screenplay, she's going to find her. I just need to figure out how, because again, this isn't a novel. Gah. Frustrations because things that make sense in my head don't make sense on paper...or, on computer screen.

Fuck.

(I am getting way too happy with this strike through line thing...)

I also can't sleep because I'm thinking about the fact that summer "vacation" is only about five weeks away and I still have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going to be. And that's super stressful. Oh, and I put quotes around "vacation," because I honestly can't remember the last time I considered summer to be a vacation, instead of a time that just stresses me the eff out. What is wrong with that picture? Oh well, I guess the best I can do is hope that one day, preferably sooner rather than later, summer will once again be a time for me to relax like all the other kids.

Oh, and I have a job interview tomorrow guys! Er...I guess it's now later today because it's motherfucking 3:12 in the am. It's for a summer position for this organization that basically helps high schoolers (and first generation college students) from low-income backgrounds get ready for college. For those of you who know what Jumpstart is, the organization I spent two years working for, it's basically that but for big kids. I'm really looking forward to the interview; call me crazy, but I actually thoroughly enjoy most job interviews. I know, it's a little weird. If I end up getting hired, I will either be working as a legitimate tutor, or as a residential advisor, aka. the person who schedules the tutoring hours. So, you know, just...

And just to add a 17th thing to discuss on this post, I suppose I should also announce that I got picked to be part of Occidental's Fall 2013 O-Team! aka. Orientation Staff! I'm super excited about it :) Basically, my friend Enoch and I, and several other leaders I'm sure, will be leading and advising a group of transfer/exchange/visiting students, or TEVs for lack of a better word. Enoch was a TEV at Oxy with me last fall, so I'm really excited to work with him :) Just to give you some idea of how exciting it really is, here you go:

 

I think I'm gonna listen to The Smiths now, and actually go to sleep. So good night every one :) Or...good morning to those of you who wish to be smart asses.

~Erin